I have been awake now for 30 hours straight. Wow... what a crazy time it's been. Photos and vids will show up eventually, but the salient points are:
Dawn Chorus, slow dancing, free books, a vocal bipolar Maori and Shmuley Boteach.
I'm sure there's more that I'll remember once I wake up tomorrow, but for now... I'm out!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Congratulations, Mr. President
The other day I watched my first ever presidential inauguration. The last time America got a new president I was 12, and much too young to be bothering with this sort of pomp and circumstance.
I was looking forward to watching the oath of office; I was expecting it to be dramatic and poignant. Thanks a lot for ruining the memory, Chief Justice John Roberts. Obama noticed Roberts had said the words in the wrong order, waited for Roberts to correct himself, and then recited the words incorrectly anyway. Silly, silly Mr. President.
The inaugural address was decent enough. Among the generic "we will work together to defeat America's enemies and overcome its problems" spiel were some oratory nuggets. Of America's enemies Obama said, "we will extend them a hand if they are willing to unclench their fist." I'll be very interested to see how that plays out in his foreign policy.
"We shall harness the power of the sun, wind and soil," he said, of his alternate energy schemes. One anonymous wit postulated that Obama was actually Captain Planet.
But by far the greatest thing in that speech was Obama's statement, "we will restore science to its rightful place."
It filled me with happy feelings, and memories of Portal. Inspired, I threw this together on MS Paint:
Barack Obama: he does what he must because he can.
I was looking forward to watching the oath of office; I was expecting it to be dramatic and poignant. Thanks a lot for ruining the memory, Chief Justice John Roberts. Obama noticed Roberts had said the words in the wrong order, waited for Roberts to correct himself, and then recited the words incorrectly anyway. Silly, silly Mr. President.
The inaugural address was decent enough. Among the generic "we will work together to defeat America's enemies and overcome its problems" spiel were some oratory nuggets. Of America's enemies Obama said, "we will extend them a hand if they are willing to unclench their fist." I'll be very interested to see how that plays out in his foreign policy.
"We shall harness the power of the sun, wind and soil," he said, of his alternate energy schemes. One anonymous wit postulated that Obama was actually Captain Planet.
But by far the greatest thing in that speech was Obama's statement, "we will restore science to its rightful place."
It filled me with happy feelings, and memories of Portal. Inspired, I threw this together on MS Paint:
Barack Obama: he does what he must because he can.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
If 1,000 people read this, AaronJ and Simmons are epic trendsetters
We've all signed into our Facebooks to be greeted by an avalanche of ridiculous invites. Your friends want you to register your approval of the latest chart-topping musician, absurd fashion trend, popular brand of coffee, or political development in the Middle East. They want you to join their fantasy army, mafioso organisation, vampire clan and feudal system.
Which is fine. People can waste their own (and others') time however they like. The bit that simultaneously amuses and irks me (just a little), is how seriously they seem to take it all. They really care how their fictional Bible study group and high school cheerleading squad are coming along.
The best bit is the "number" ones: "If 1,000 people join this group, I'll eat a cockroach"; "If 5,000 people join this group, I'll change my surname to 'Dudemeister'"; "If 100,000 people join this group, Israel's incursion into Gaza is morally, politically and militarily justified". For those of you who are slow to think but quick to keyboard, my point here has nothing to do with the "rightness" of Israel's martial shenanigans. I am simply pointing out the absurdity of believing that having a lot of people in a Facebook group has an actual effect on the Middle Eastern political situation.
Which is where my Facebook group comes in. I call it "1,000,000 strong against nothing in particular!" and the description reads "I bet I can find 1,000,000 people who want to be in a Facebook group with 1,000,000 people."
I'm probably misquoting Albert Camus when I say that "humans spend their whole lives attempting to prove to themselves that their lives are not absurd". But I'm pretty darn sure I've got Fiyero's line nailed...
"I say: why invite stress in? Stop studying strife. And learn to live the unexamined life..."
Which is fine. People can waste their own (and others') time however they like. The bit that simultaneously amuses and irks me (just a little), is how seriously they seem to take it all. They really care how their fictional Bible study group and high school cheerleading squad are coming along.
The best bit is the "number" ones: "If 1,000 people join this group, I'll eat a cockroach"; "If 5,000 people join this group, I'll change my surname to 'Dudemeister'"; "If 100,000 people join this group, Israel's incursion into Gaza is morally, politically and militarily justified". For those of you who are slow to think but quick to keyboard, my point here has nothing to do with the "rightness" of Israel's martial shenanigans. I am simply pointing out the absurdity of believing that having a lot of people in a Facebook group has an actual effect on the Middle Eastern political situation.
Which is where my Facebook group comes in. I call it "1,000,000 strong against nothing in particular!" and the description reads "I bet I can find 1,000,000 people who want to be in a Facebook group with 1,000,000 people."
I'm probably misquoting Albert Camus when I say that "humans spend their whole lives attempting to prove to themselves that their lives are not absurd". But I'm pretty darn sure I've got Fiyero's line nailed...
"I say: why invite stress in? Stop studying strife. And learn to live the unexamined life..."
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Some Mild Heresy (with light showers in the afternoon)
I have just had an epiphany of sorts. You ready? Judaism is a gnostic faith. Allow me to explain.
Gnosticism is essentially the belief that the universe was created by an imperfect deity, known as the Demiurge, and that a Supreme Being of pure good exists indepently of said Demiurge. The Demiurge is usually thought of to be either malevolent or simply unable to properly execute perfect good. It's easy enough to see the God of the Hebrews as a Demiurge. After all, his track record is far from perfect. In the delightfully amusing language of Richard Dawkins:
"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully."
But this raises the question: if He's the Demiurge, who's the Supreme Being? Who's the Force of pure, omnipotent good that will save us from this world of suffering?
The answer struck me this suddenly afternoon, as I sat in bemused debate with a small troupe of Lubavitchers who were attempting to persuade me to don tefillin. It was so blindingly obvious, that I am astonished I didn't figure it out sooner. The Supreme Being is this guy:
Ha. Bet you didn't think you'd see a photo of him on my blog. Or should that be a capitalised "Him"? After all, according to Lubavitch thought, that man is the Messiah. The one who will lead us into an era of pure good, and perfect/supplant the evil-ridden universe of the Hebrew God.
Sounds like gnosticism to me. What do you think?
Gnosticism is essentially the belief that the universe was created by an imperfect deity, known as the Demiurge, and that a Supreme Being of pure good exists indepently of said Demiurge. The Demiurge is usually thought of to be either malevolent or simply unable to properly execute perfect good. It's easy enough to see the God of the Hebrews as a Demiurge. After all, his track record is far from perfect. In the delightfully amusing language of Richard Dawkins:
"The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully."
But this raises the question: if He's the Demiurge, who's the Supreme Being? Who's the Force of pure, omnipotent good that will save us from this world of suffering?
The answer struck me this suddenly afternoon, as I sat in bemused debate with a small troupe of Lubavitchers who were attempting to persuade me to don tefillin. It was so blindingly obvious, that I am astonished I didn't figure it out sooner. The Supreme Being is this guy:
Ha. Bet you didn't think you'd see a photo of him on my blog. Or should that be a capitalised "Him"? After all, according to Lubavitch thought, that man is the Messiah. The one who will lead us into an era of pure good, and perfect/supplant the evil-ridden universe of the Hebrew God.
Sounds like gnosticism to me. What do you think?
Friday, December 5, 2008
Pain and Numberings
Number of Chabad emissaries brutally murdered in Bombay: 2
Number of deaths on the roads of Israel this year*: 244
Number of Israeli Jews who died of lung cancer in 2005**: 1193
"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."
- attributed to Joseph Stalin
* Source: Israel Central Bureau of Statistics. Motorist fatalities 1/1/08 - 31/8/08.
** Source: Israeli Central Bureau of Statistics. Includes cancers of the trachea and bronchus.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Northrend Musings - All the World's a Toilet
It's not like Blizzard has never made me clean up their shit before (I remember one particular adventure I had in Nagrand). Yet I had hoped, with unwarranted optimism, that I could leave my dung duties behind when I arrived in Northrend.
Alas, twas not to be! No sooner had I stepped off the *boat thingy* than some crazy gnome was having me feed gourmet Sephardi dishes to the local wolf population and search the, uh, products of my labour for missing microfilms.
"That's no problem," I hear you say. "When I go to Northrend, two months after everyone else, I'll just go to Howling Fjord. FIXT!"
So this is where it really gets fun. A gnome in Howling Fjord gave me sticks of dynamite and directed me to throw them under nearby bats to, quite literally, scare the shit out of them. Then, big surprise, I had to collect it. Me, big, hero, saviour-of-the-Alliance me. Once again, picking up droppings.
I'm assuming Blizzard hired heaps of new people to help with the construction of Northrend.
I wonder if they hired someone solely to create feces-based quests.
I wonder where he lives...
Alas, twas not to be! No sooner had I stepped off the *boat thingy* than some crazy gnome was having me feed gourmet Sephardi dishes to the local wolf population and search the, uh, products of my labour for missing microfilms.
"That's no problem," I hear you say. "When I go to Northrend, two months after everyone else, I'll just go to Howling Fjord. FIXT!"
So this is where it really gets fun. A gnome in Howling Fjord gave me sticks of dynamite and directed me to throw them under nearby bats to, quite literally, scare the shit out of them. Then, big surprise, I had to collect it. Me, big, hero, saviour-of-the-Alliance me. Once again, picking up droppings.
I'm assuming Blizzard hired heaps of new people to help with the construction of Northrend.
I wonder if they hired someone solely to create feces-based quests.
I wonder where he lives...
Sunday, November 23, 2008
My Life According To My Playlist
There's this nifty little game Louise put me on to. You take one of those quizzes that make you explain your entire life in a couple dozen questions, and you fill it in. But, instead of giving accurate answers that make things all-too-easy for faux psychics and identity thieves (you may as well just take off the damn tin-foil hat), you play all the songs you have on 'shuffle' and let Windows Media Player answer for you! Or use iTunes - if you SUCK! Here's mine:
1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say...
California Love (Tupac & Dr. Dre). "It's all good from Diego to the Bay!" I actually answer like this quite often ^^
2. How would you describe yourself?
Puke (Eminem). "You don't know how sick you make me/ you make me fucking sick to my stomach/ every time I think of you I puke"? Words cannot express the emo...
3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Till I Collapse (Eminem, 50 Cent, 2pac). I like a girl with Stamina. Yes, that capital S is intentional.
4. How do you feel today?
We All Die One Day (G-Unit, Eminem, Obie Trice). Today is a good day for contemplating mortality. It can be quite freeing.
5. What is your life's purpose?
Sing for the Moment (Eminem). "Sing it with me/ just for today/ maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away..." Friends tell me that doesn't count as a proper ambition. I tell them to STFU before I pop a cap in they ass, yo! :P
6. What is your motto?
Eye of the Tiger (Survivor). SEE! I don't JUST listen to hip-hop. Getting a song like this for the motto question is just stupidly easy. I'm not even going to bother.
7. What do your friends think of you?
For Aragorn and Arwen (Enya). They think I'm the saviour of Middle Earth, come to reclaim my kingdom and vanquish evil. Honestly they do.
8. What do you think of your parents?
Little Becky wants to have her school knocked down (Simon Jones). "Is this a demolition company or a joke factory?" - that pretty much sums it up. :P
9.What do you think about very often?
Random Englishman (the "Microphone" function on my Mp3 player). This is a recording of an awesomely wacky dude I once met on the bus home. You know that type that doesn't quite get how you're never supposed to talk to strangers on public transport? I love that type. Reminds me of me. Quotes like "You're almost an English gentleman, the way you carry on. You're one of the nicest blokes I've ever met on the bus" and "Thank you Jew Itzi. What a nice Jew man you are" are not actually things I think about that often; although perhaps if I did my answer to question 2 would be a little more positive. XD
10. What is 2 + 2?
Busted (Matchbox 20). I wonder how many people actually get a relevant answer to this one?
11. What do you think of your best friend?
Give It Up To Me (Sean Paul). Best friends should always put out. This I believe very strongly.
12. What do you think of the person you like?
Hey Jude (The Beatles). "And dont you know that its just you/ Hey Jude, you'll do" - because Jessica Alba is married and has a kid now.
13. What is your life story?
Stoned (Dido). BWAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Isn't it wonderful when the RNG comes up with this stuff?
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Nothing Else Matters (Apocalyptica). When I grow up, I want to achieve a Taoist sense of nihilism. True story.
15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
When You Are Old and Grey (Tom Lehrer). "Since I still appreciate you, let's find love while we may/ Because I know I'll hate you when you are old and grey." Okay, not HATE... but I might want to keep the light off, you know?
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Chemo Limo (Regina Spektor). I think this song is about cancer. I sincerely hope they do not play this at my wedding.
17. What will they play at your funeral?
Wasting Time (Blink 182). I can hear the eulogy now: "We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a man who made nothing of his life." XD
18. What is your hobby/interest?
All Kinds of Time (Fountains of Wayne). "Just like he planned/ The whole world is his tonight." Stupid Fountains of Wayne, blowing my cover. It's a lot harder to achieve world domination when they know you're coming.
19. What is your biggest fear?
Popular (Wicked: The Musical). "Celebrated Heads of State or specially great communicators - did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were POPULAR!" I wouldn't say this is a fear as such, but this stark truth does irritate me at times. "It's not about aptitude/ It's the way you're viewed/ So it's very shrewd to be/ Very, very popular/ Like me." Heh, I could quote Wicked all day long.
20. What is your biggest secret?
Moon River (Frank Sinatra). "Moon River/ Wider than a mile/ I'm crossing you in style/ Someday." Wow, I can't think of anything funny to say. I'm too busy being seduced by Frank Sinatra. What a voice...
21. What do you think of your friends?
The Great River (Enya). They're all drifters. Get it? Drifters? Like on a raft? Pretty funny, eh? I hate you.
22. Whats a bad habit you have?
What If She's An Angel (Joe Nichols). Occasionally, I make the mistake of not having enough misanthropy. I'm working on it.
23. What do you enjoy of yourself?
No One (Alicia Keys). "No one, no one, no one/ Can get in the way of what I'm feeling." I love the way I can have fun without being worried about making a fool of myself. I feel bad for people who are so terrified of what random strangers might think about them that they won't even sing in public or talk to pretty women. Poor things.
24. What do you think of others?
Michel (Anouk). "You were my first and worst love." That pretty much sums it up. I have this generic love for all people, despite being acutely aware of mankind's tragic failings. Go figure.
25. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
Take Me Away (Cascada). Europe would be nice...
26. Homework...
Argue (Matchbox Twenty). Classic! Reminds me of a wonderful story from the Talmud - the tale of Rabbi Yochanan and Resh Lakish, Bava Metzia 84a.
Said Rabbi Yochanan, "Whenever I stated an opinion, the son of Lakish used to make twenty-four objections, to which I was compelled to give twenty-four answers; in this way, our understanding of the Law was broadened."
They should give this kind of homework out more often. Kids may actually LEARN something for a change.
Well, that's my quiz done. What a wonderful ride it has been. I encourage you all to go out and complete this quiz yourselves - it's marvelous fun.
Good night, and good luck.
1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say...
California Love (Tupac & Dr. Dre). "It's all good from Diego to the Bay!" I actually answer like this quite often ^^
2. How would you describe yourself?
Puke (Eminem). "You don't know how sick you make me/ you make me fucking sick to my stomach/ every time I think of you I puke"? Words cannot express the emo...
3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Till I Collapse (Eminem, 50 Cent, 2pac). I like a girl with Stamina. Yes, that capital S is intentional.
4. How do you feel today?
We All Die One Day (G-Unit, Eminem, Obie Trice). Today is a good day for contemplating mortality. It can be quite freeing.
5. What is your life's purpose?
Sing for the Moment (Eminem). "Sing it with me/ just for today/ maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away..." Friends tell me that doesn't count as a proper ambition. I tell them to STFU before I pop a cap in they ass, yo! :P
6. What is your motto?
Eye of the Tiger (Survivor). SEE! I don't JUST listen to hip-hop. Getting a song like this for the motto question is just stupidly easy. I'm not even going to bother.
7. What do your friends think of you?
For Aragorn and Arwen (Enya). They think I'm the saviour of Middle Earth, come to reclaim my kingdom and vanquish evil. Honestly they do.
8. What do you think of your parents?
Little Becky wants to have her school knocked down (Simon Jones). "Is this a demolition company or a joke factory?" - that pretty much sums it up. :P
9.What do you think about very often?
Random Englishman (the "Microphone" function on my Mp3 player). This is a recording of an awesomely wacky dude I once met on the bus home. You know that type that doesn't quite get how you're never supposed to talk to strangers on public transport? I love that type. Reminds me of me. Quotes like "You're almost an English gentleman, the way you carry on. You're one of the nicest blokes I've ever met on the bus" and "Thank you Jew Itzi. What a nice Jew man you are" are not actually things I think about that often; although perhaps if I did my answer to question 2 would be a little more positive. XD
10. What is 2 + 2?
Busted (Matchbox 20). I wonder how many people actually get a relevant answer to this one?
11. What do you think of your best friend?
Give It Up To Me (Sean Paul). Best friends should always put out. This I believe very strongly.
12. What do you think of the person you like?
Hey Jude (The Beatles). "And dont you know that its just you/ Hey Jude, you'll do" - because Jessica Alba is married and has a kid now.
13. What is your life story?
Stoned (Dido). BWAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Isn't it wonderful when the RNG comes up with this stuff?
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Nothing Else Matters (Apocalyptica). When I grow up, I want to achieve a Taoist sense of nihilism. True story.
15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
When You Are Old and Grey (Tom Lehrer). "Since I still appreciate you, let's find love while we may/ Because I know I'll hate you when you are old and grey." Okay, not HATE... but I might want to keep the light off, you know?
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Chemo Limo (Regina Spektor). I think this song is about cancer. I sincerely hope they do not play this at my wedding.
17. What will they play at your funeral?
Wasting Time (Blink 182). I can hear the eulogy now: "We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a man who made nothing of his life." XD
18. What is your hobby/interest?
All Kinds of Time (Fountains of Wayne). "Just like he planned/ The whole world is his tonight." Stupid Fountains of Wayne, blowing my cover. It's a lot harder to achieve world domination when they know you're coming.
19. What is your biggest fear?
Popular (Wicked: The Musical). "Celebrated Heads of State or specially great communicators - did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were POPULAR!" I wouldn't say this is a fear as such, but this stark truth does irritate me at times. "It's not about aptitude/ It's the way you're viewed/ So it's very shrewd to be/ Very, very popular/ Like me." Heh, I could quote Wicked all day long.
20. What is your biggest secret?
Moon River (Frank Sinatra). "Moon River/ Wider than a mile/ I'm crossing you in style/ Someday." Wow, I can't think of anything funny to say. I'm too busy being seduced by Frank Sinatra. What a voice...
21. What do you think of your friends?
The Great River (Enya). They're all drifters. Get it? Drifters? Like on a raft? Pretty funny, eh? I hate you.
22. Whats a bad habit you have?
What If She's An Angel (Joe Nichols). Occasionally, I make the mistake of not having enough misanthropy. I'm working on it.
23. What do you enjoy of yourself?
No One (Alicia Keys). "No one, no one, no one/ Can get in the way of what I'm feeling." I love the way I can have fun without being worried about making a fool of myself. I feel bad for people who are so terrified of what random strangers might think about them that they won't even sing in public or talk to pretty women. Poor things.
24. What do you think of others?
Michel (Anouk). "You were my first and worst love." That pretty much sums it up. I have this generic love for all people, despite being acutely aware of mankind's tragic failings. Go figure.
25. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
Take Me Away (Cascada). Europe would be nice...
26. Homework...
Argue (Matchbox Twenty). Classic! Reminds me of a wonderful story from the Talmud - the tale of Rabbi Yochanan and Resh Lakish, Bava Metzia 84a.
Said Rabbi Yochanan, "Whenever I stated an opinion, the son of Lakish used to make twenty-four objections, to which I was compelled to give twenty-four answers; in this way, our understanding of the Law was broadened."
They should give this kind of homework out more often. Kids may actually LEARN something for a change.
Well, that's my quiz done. What a wonderful ride it has been. I encourage you all to go out and complete this quiz yourselves - it's marvelous fun.
Good night, and good luck.
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