My Life According To My Playlist

There's this nifty little game Louise put me on to. You take one of those quizzes that make you explain your entire life in a couple dozen questions, and you fill it in. But, instead of giving accurate answers that make things all-too-easy for faux psychics and identity thieves (you may as well just take off the damn tin-foil hat), you play all the songs you have on 'shuffle' and let Windows Media Player answer for you! Or use iTunes - if you SUCK! Here's mine:

1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say...

California Love (Tupac & Dr. Dre). "It's all good from Diego to the Bay!" I actually answer like this quite often ^^

2. How would you describe yourself?

Puke (Eminem). "You don't know how sick you make me/ you make me fucking sick to my stomach/ every time I think of you I puke"? Words cannot express the emo...

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

Till I Collapse (Eminem, 50 Cent, 2pac). I like a girl with Stamina. Yes, that capital S is intentional.

4. How do you feel today?

We All Die One Day (G-Unit, Eminem, Obie Trice). Today is a good day for contemplating mortality. It can be quite freeing.

5. What is your life's purpose?

Sing for the Moment (Eminem). "Sing it with me/ just for today/ maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away..." Friends tell me that doesn't count as a proper ambition. I tell them to STFU before I pop a cap in they ass, yo! :P

6. What is your motto?

Eye of the Tiger (Survivor). SEE! I don't JUST listen to hip-hop. Getting a song like this for the motto question is just stupidly easy. I'm not even going to bother.

7. What do your friends think of you?

For Aragorn and Arwen (Enya). They think I'm the saviour of Middle Earth, come to reclaim my kingdom and vanquish evil. Honestly they do.

8. What do you think of your parents?

Little Becky wants to have her school knocked down (Simon Jones). "Is this a demolition company or a joke factory?" - that pretty much sums it up. :P

9.What do you think about very often?

Random Englishman (the "Microphone" function on my Mp3 player). This is a recording of an awesomely wacky dude I once met on the bus home. You know that type that doesn't quite get how you're never supposed to talk to strangers on public transport? I love that type. Reminds me of me. Quotes like "You're almost an English gentleman, the way you carry on. You're one of the nicest blokes I've ever met on the bus" and "Thank you Jew Itzi. What a nice Jew man you are" are not actually things I think about that often; although perhaps if I did my answer to question 2 would be a little more positive. XD

10. What is 2 + 2?

Busted (Matchbox 20). I wonder how many people actually get a relevant answer to this one?

11. What do you think of your best friend?

Give It Up To Me (Sean Paul). Best friends should always put out. This I believe very strongly.

12. What do you think of the person you like?

Hey Jude (The Beatles). "And dont you know that its just you/ Hey Jude, you'll do" - because Jessica Alba is married and has a kid now.

13. What is your life story?

Stoned (Dido). BWAHAHAHAHHAHAA. Isn't it wonderful when the RNG comes up with this stuff?

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Nothing Else Matters (Apocalyptica). When I grow up, I want to achieve a Taoist sense of nihilism. True story.

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

When You Are Old and Grey (Tom Lehrer). "Since I still appreciate you, let's find love while we may/ Because I know I'll hate you when you are old and grey." Okay, not HATE... but I might want to keep the light off, you know?

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Chemo Limo (Regina Spektor). I think this song is about cancer. I sincerely hope they do not play this at my wedding.

17. What will they play at your funeral?

Wasting Time (Blink 182). I can hear the eulogy now: "We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a man who made nothing of his life." XD

18. What is your hobby/interest?

All Kinds of Time (Fountains of Wayne). "Just like he planned/ The whole world is his tonight." Stupid Fountains of Wayne, blowing my cover. It's a lot harder to achieve world domination when they know you're coming.

19. What is your biggest fear?

Popular (Wicked: The Musical). "Celebrated Heads of State or specially great communicators - did they have brains or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were POPULAR!" I wouldn't say this is a fear as such, but this stark truth does irritate me at times. "It's not about aptitude/ It's the way you're viewed/ So it's very shrewd to be/ Very, very popular/ Like me." Heh, I could quote Wicked all day long.

20. What is your biggest secret?

Moon River (Frank Sinatra). "Moon River/ Wider than a mile/ I'm crossing you in style/ Someday." Wow, I can't think of anything funny to say. I'm too busy being seduced by Frank Sinatra. What a voice...

21. What do you think of your friends?

The Great River (Enya). They're all drifters. Get it? Drifters? Like on a raft? Pretty funny, eh? I hate you.

22. Whats a bad habit you have?

What If She's An Angel (Joe Nichols). Occasionally, I make the mistake of not having enough misanthropy. I'm working on it.

23. What do you enjoy of yourself?

No One (Alicia Keys). "No one, no one, no one/ Can get in the way of what I'm feeling." I love the way I can have fun without being worried about making a fool of myself. I feel bad for people who are so terrified of what random strangers might think about them that they won't even sing in public or talk to pretty women. Poor things.

24. What do you think of others?

Michel (Anouk). "You were my first and worst love." That pretty much sums it up. I have this generic love for all people, despite being acutely aware of mankind's tragic failings. Go figure.

25. Boyfriend/Girlfriend?

Take Me Away (Cascada). Europe would be nice...

26. Homework...

Argue (Matchbox Twenty). Classic! Reminds me of a wonderful story from the Talmud - the tale of Rabbi Yochanan and Resh Lakish, Bava Metzia 84a.

Said Rabbi Yochanan, "Whenever I stated an opinion, the son of Lakish used to make twenty-four objections, to which I was compelled to give twenty-four answers; in this way, our understanding of the Law was broadened."

They should give this kind of homework out more often. Kids may actually LEARN something for a change.

Well, that's my quiz done. What a wonderful ride it has been. I encourage you all to go out and complete this quiz yourselves - it's marvelous fun.

Good night, and good luck.